Ideal Weight
The two photos above may have cute pool floats in common, but the girl I am in each picture could not be more different!
Melissa on Dolphin (circa 2015): Yes, I had a six pack and no cellulite, but at what cost? Well, I paid the price of restricted eating, fear of carbs, constant internal calorie calculations, saying no to outings that revolved around “unsafe” food, skipping events that disrupted my workout plans, stressing over the slightest bloat, and loads of self loathing and negative self talk. I wasted so much time and brain space trying to keep myself smaller than my body naturally wanted to be. I had what I thought was the “perfect physique,” but I still was not happy!
Melissa on Unicorn (circa 2019 & present): A softer physique, but so much stronger physically and mentally — and, yes, I still have strong six pack abs, they just aren’t visible because I’m too busy enjoying my life, eating when I’m hungry, moving intuitively, resting when I need to, and sending my body lots of love (and, GASP, carbs)!
These days, I’m about 15 pounds heavier, healthier, and happier than 5 years ago. This is where my body wants to be, it’s natural happy place where it is most functional hormonally and reproductively. This is the weight my body chose after healing from adrenal fatigue PCOS, disordered eating, and over exercise. This is where my body felt safe and cared for enough to allow my hormones to function properly and conceive our beautiful daughter naturally.
Is 2015 Melissa more physically fit, a better trainer, or a more worthy human because she has a visible six pack? HELL NO! In fact, I am ashamed to have ever shared bikini photos from that era thinking it was something to be proud of and show off. I sincerely apologize to anyone who saw them back then and thought that it was something to aspire to. It most definitely was not!
So, how do you figure out your “ideal weight”? Let your body tell you! Forget the scale, the macros, and the arbitrary numbers. Remember that bodies change over time. People come in all shapes and sizes, and genetics play a huge role in metabolism and muscle definition (including six packs). Stop the comparison game, and start rejecting the societal shame associated with weight gain!
Your ideal weight is the one where you can live your life. Where you can enjoy food without fear, exercise because it feels good, and use your brain for more important things than calculating calories. You do not have to spend your life constantly trying to take up less space!
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