My Feeding Journey
When I became pregnant with Grace (my first daughter) in 2019, I just assumed that I would breastfeed. It seemed like the “natural” thing to do. My mom, her mom, and most of my mama friends had done it, so that’s what I figured would be easiest and best for my daughter. As a first time mom, I was admittedly a little naive.
When Grace arrived in March 2020, I found out that breastfeeding is “natural,” but that absolutely does not mean it’s easy. In the middle of a global pandemic, I lacked in-person lactation support and didn’t have family around to help or lend guidance. Somehow, I pushed through the pain and difficulties on my own and ended up breastfeeding Grace 13 months.
During those 13 months I did consider combo feeding several times. I was having a lot of trouble pumping. I could barely get 1oz most times. This made it pretty impossible for me to leave the house without her or have anyone else assist with feeding because I did not have enough breastmilk for a full bottle. It caused a lot of frustration, but I pushed through with breastfeeding because I simply did not feel good about any of the formula options available at that time (2020-2021).
Going into my second birth, I was more prepared for the nuances of breastfeeding, but I still had expectations that I would breastfeed at least until one year. Things didn't quite workout that way, though, and my feeding journey was met with quite a few challenges.
My second baby, Gabrielle, had growth restriction in utero, along with a few other high-risk pregnancy complications. She was born art 39 weeks with a scheduled c-section, as my doctors recommended for her safety. She was only 6 lbs, and so much smaller than I was used to (my first daughter was over 8lbs)!
Right away, I noticed her mouth and lips were so tiny, and her top lip curled under. It was impossible for her to get a proper, efficient latch while breastfeeding. I suspected a lip & tongue tie, and my lactation consultant confirmed those. We ended up having them laser released when Gabrielle was about 2 months old.
After the release, Gabrielle nursed a lot better and was steadily gaining weight. I was pumping regularly, and this time around was able to get enough milk to allow others to bottle feed the baby so that I could take a break or be with my oldest. Everything was going great!
Then, something awful happened at 4 months postpartum that completely changed my feeding journey. Grace brought home hand foot mouth disease from preschool. I was so run down from lack of sleep and postpartum healing, that I also got it and became very ill. I have chills, fever, and painful blisters all over my body — and when I say “all over,” I mean my entire body, including my breasts.
My milk supply dropped suddenly, and Gabrielle started refusing to nurse due to the lack of milk, as well as the uncomfortable scabbing on my nipples. I kept pumping through the incredible pain, tears running down my face each time, and my production continued to plummet. I knew it was time to find a formula for Gabrielle.
I started researching formulas. I knew I wanted to use a clean brand with ingredients I felt comfortable giving to my baby. ByHeart stood out as the only American-made* infant formula on to use organic, grass-fed whole milk, not skim. When I discovered that it is also made with certified-clean ingredients, plus has no soy, no corn syrup, no GMOs, and no palm oil, I was sold. It made me feel so much better to know that, with ByHeart, Gabrielle would be getting a patented protein blend that gets closest to breastmilk.
Although it was incredibly difficult to admit to myself at the time, my breastfeeding journey with Gabrielle was over. I struggled with guilt and internal judgment, but seeing her thrive with ByHeart eased my worries so much. ByHeart formula is clinically proven to cause less spit up, softer poops, more efficient weight gain, enhanced nutrient absorption, and longer stretches between nighttime feeds vs. the leading infant formula.
My mental health also improved thanks to ByHeart. I was able to let go of the guilt and worry of ending our breastfeeding journey earlier than expected because I felt so confident in ByHeart’s ingredients. It helped me so much to know that Gabrielle was receiving a formula with a patented protein blend closest to my own milk and to see her thriving on ByHeart formula. Looking back, I wish ByHeart formula had been available during my first postpartum period because I know it could have been a very positive part of my feeding journey.
Feeding your baby is one of the most intimate and personal choices you make as a parent, but frankly, it isn’t always a choice. Every parent, baby, and family circumstance is so different, and there is absolutely no need to pass judgement for feeding choices.
Yes, I still believe that breast milk is nature’s “gold standard,” but my experience has opened my mind so much. I now recognize that breastfeeding isn’t always possible or the “best” option in every situation. And, I’ve learned not to judge others, but most importantly not to judge or guilt myself for making the best feeding choice for my circumstances.
If you would like to try ByHeart for yourself, use coupon code MELISSA20 for 20% off your first order!**
*with globally sourced ingredients
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